I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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