ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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