We're like a lot better than the average bears
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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