Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
