Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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