I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
