drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
