Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
