no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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