I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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