Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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