Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
