i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
