I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
