I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
