i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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