WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
