dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
