My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
