That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
