Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
