Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
