I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
