im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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