Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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