were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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