Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
