my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
