I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
