Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
