These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
