I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
