Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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