I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
