Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
