i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
