This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
