Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Plan B is the new Plan A
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
