Don't make out with my wife yet
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
its liver damage thursday
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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