His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize