At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize