Porn is love you can see.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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