if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
