You just made me feel so damn special
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
