whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
