So drunk its hurt
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
