You just made me feel so damn special
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
lol hangovers are for mortals.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
