It's just like the Real World with babies
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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