And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize