Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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