It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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