she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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