All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
