Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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