plz talk dirty to me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
