Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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