y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
