JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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