Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
