So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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