Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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